Teen Sexual Harassment

We often hear about sexual harassment in the workplace. But you may not realize that in junior high and high schools across the country, sexual harassment happens every day. Not only are pyschological effects traumatic, but it can seriously affect one's academic performance as well. What can be done? Get the facts and protect yourself. 

What is Sexual Harassment?
Simply put, sexual harassment is any unwelcome sexual behavior. It can take many different forms, including:

• Physical contact, such as grabbing, pinching, touching, or kissing you against your will.
• Sexual comments like name-calling, starting rumors about you, making sexual jokes at your expense, or making sexual gestures at or about you.
• Sexual propositions, like asking you for sex or repeatedly asking you out when you have said "no" (this could also be considered stalking).
• Unwanted communication, including phone calls, letters, emails, or notes. These can be mean, nasty, or threatening, or they can seem flattering or nice but still make you uncomfortable.

Know the Difference Between Flirting and Sexual Harassment
Flirting between adolescents is normal, but it's important to know the difference. Here's a general run-down:

• Flirting is welcome attention. Sexual harassment is not.
• Flirting goes both ways. Sexual harassment is one-sided.
• Flirting makes you feel attractive and good about yourself. Sexual harassment makes you feel bad or dirty.
• Flirting makes you feel in control. Sexual harassment makes you feel powerless.
• Flirting is legal in school. Sexual harassment is not. Report any unwanted sexual behavior to a school official.

If your intention is to flirt with someone and they don't respond the way you want them to, you might be making them uncomfortable. They may start avoiding you, stop making eye contact with you, stop smiling while talking to you, etc. Learn to read the signs and don't pursue it. If the person doesn't want that kind of attention from you, you should stop. If you don't, you are guilty of sexual harassment.

Psychology of Sexual Harassment
If you're a victim of sexual harassment, you might feel angry, embarassed, frustrated, scared, depressed, or bad about yourself. Feelings of helplessness are common, as well as a fear that nothing can be done to stop it. Sometimes these feelings are manifested in physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomach aches, difficulty sleeping, or eating disorders.

What Should You Do If You Are Being Sexually Harassed?
How you respond will depend on the nature of the harassment. But here are some good guidelines:

• Tell the person harassing you that you are uncomfortable and want them to stop. You can do this face-to-face or in writing (save a copy of your letter). You can also ask a friend or adult to talk to them.
• If the harasser doesn't stop after you've asked them to stop, get a copy of your school's sexual harassment policy. It can help you understand what behaviors are considered harassment, and tell you how to report it.
• Report the harassment to the appropriate person at your school, and/or tell your parent(s).
• If the harassment still continues, keep a journal to document each incident.
• If the school administration doesn't stop the harassment, you may want to consult a
  lawyer.

Sexual harassment can sometimes be a criminal activity. It can include assault, stalking, sexual assault, and vandalism. Don't wait until it gets to this point.