Escaping an Abduction

What child would have a chance if a big adult tried to grab them? Many children have been grabbed but have gotten away, even though they've been much smaller and lighter. They do this by being smart.

One example can be used when a child has their bike or another large item nearby. Have you ever tried to drag an unwilling person and their bike into an open car door? By holding onto their bike and not letting go, your child can make it impossible for a would-be abductor pull your child into their car. By screaming or making a lot of noise, your child can attract attention to the scene. For a bad person who doesn't want to get caught trying to take your child, attention is the last thing they want.

Another example of how a small child can get away from a big adult is the "Windmill Technique." Someone you don't want to go with grabs your arm, and begins to pull you toward a waiting car, structure, or deserted area. By rotating your straight arm rapidly in a circle from your shoulder, like a windmill, you can catch that person off guard, and break their grip. Then, it's time to run and scream! Remember, bad people don't want the attention of good adults!

Sometimes the best way for a child to keep safe is to keep a distance. A car pulls up to the curb and a friendly-looking woman in a nice dress asks if your child could help her out by giving her directions to the park. She may beckon your child closer to her open car door by saying she can't hear you, by asking your child to ride along with her, by offering your child money, even by telling your child that you, who she doesn’t even know, said it was okay. But your child should never get within "grabbing" distance of a car with someone in it that your child doesn't know. Tell your child to stay firmly on the sidewalk, turn, and walk the other direction. Your child doesn't have to be polite or have to say anything at all -- she should just turn and walk in the direction opposite of what the car is driving in. Since it takes awhile for a car to make a turn, it should give your child a chance to get away.

What if the car follows your child? Teach your child to keep changing directions until she can get somewhere safe. Safe places include crowded stores with a clerk on duty, a police or fire station, any place with lots of witnesses and someone who can help your child. If you're child is in a block of houses, she can either go to a house you have approved, or can scream, yell and make a commotion. Hopefully this will bring people to their front windows to see what's going on, or maybe even take down the license plate number or type of car.

Keeping your distance also applies to avoiding bad situations with people on foot. A nice-looking man in the park comes toward your child with a "Missing" poster for an adorable puppy. He's even got a leash. He wants your child to help, and he is so sad he's even willing to pay a reward for whoever finds his puppy.

As much as your child may love animals, teach her to not help someone like this. It's easy for someone to get any photo of any dog and make up fake missing posters on their home computers. Anyone can buy a dog leash. Teach your child to get away and tell an adult what is happening. Your child could help another child who doesn’t know how to be safe from falling for this kind of story.

If your child is being followed, or if your child breaks free in a crowded area, she can use the "Velcro Technique" to force another adult to help her, even if the adult doesn't want to get involved.

The "Velcro Technique" is simple. Imagine that you're being chased by someone you know wants to hurt you. You're running and screaming, bringing attention to yourself, but that person is still running after you. He or she may even be lying to those around saying that you have a behavior problem, or you lie constantly, or they're your parent. By wrapping both of your arms around the arm or leg of an adult in the area, and refusing to let go, you can force another adult to get you help -- you won't let go until they do.

Teach your child to let the adult know why they’re hanging on to them for dear life. Your child should tell them that she needs help, needs the police, and that she won't let go until the police come. Even if they shake your child off, teach your child to attach herself again and hold on for dear life. That adult may be in a hurry and may not want to get involved. The person you’re child is attached to like Velcro may even believe the person chasing your child. If your child keeps repeating that she are in trouble and that she has to talk to the police, eventually they'll have no choice but to call the police just to get rid of your child!

What if a person threatens your child with a gun or a knife if you don't get into their car? It might seem smart for your child to go along with them and escape later, but she'll actually have a better chance of staying safe if she gets away before she is trapped in their home or vehicle -- even if they have a gun.

Think of it this way: would you rather be shot where someone is trying to take you from (your bedroom, the street, the mall, etc.) or would you rather be taken to the woods or this person's house? Which place has more people around who would help you if you did get shot? Which place would attract the most attention if the gun went off? Your child is smarter and safer if she stays out of that person's vehicle.